A Little Background...

I'm assuming that if you're reading this page, you already know me. If not, a bit of background and explanation for this page is in order. After spending 18 years of my life wearing hearing aids to overcome my severe to profound deafness, I'm about to take a step in a new and exciting direction. For the last seven years, I've worn a single hearing aid in my right ear because the hearing in my left ear has long since disappeared. While wearing a hearing aid in just my right ear has never been much of problem, I must admit I've noticed a few differences in wearing just one hearing aid. It's always hard for me to localize the direction from which sounds are coming, and it's always embarrassing to hear someone calling my name and not know who is calling me or where they are. Also, more recently, I've begun to realize I can't rely on hearing out of one ear for the rest of my life...while it may be possible at this age, when I hit the real world, things are going to get difficult if I don't do something about it. This realization really began over Christmas Break when I lost my hearing in my right ear completely. This effectively made me completely deaf, something which was something I'd never experienced before. Up until then, hearing was only a hearing aid away. As my hearing shifted from good to bad over the course of the next few weeks, I can't tell you how frustrating it was to not be able to just put my hearing aid in and turn it on and hear again...my most reliable and trusted device couldn't even do the job anymore. That's when I realized there is something more reliable than a hearing aid: the cochlear implant. Which brings me to the reason for this blog...

I realized after my speech at the AG Bell Convention back in October 2004 that as a young adult, I am young enough to know and remember what it's like to be a hearing-impaired kid, but as an older and educated "kid", I'm able to share these feelings with others. The struggle of balancing the desire for a normal life with the reality of a life-changing handicap is difficult for some to understand. By advocating this sort of thing, others will gain a better understanding of not only what I'm going through, but what other handicapped individuals are dealing with.

Advocacy aside, I also just need a way to get this off my chest! In about a month (June 8th, as of now), I'll be at MUSC undergoing an operation to receive a cochlear implant in my left ear. To say the least, I'm very excited but also very nervous. There are so many things that can go wrong, so many things that can be good, and above all, so many changes - some good, and some bad - that can and will inevitably affect the REST of my life. I know for a fact there's a lot of people who are supporting me on this journey, and the least I can do is keep y'all involved and up-to-date on what's going on during all of this!

Finally, I can't help but admit that I am struck by sheer amazement that I'm even being given a chance to do something like this. It is truly a blessing from God. I wish I could remember the first time I put on a hearing aid and stepped out of what must have been a truly boring world of silence. My parents have told me about this moment...of walking out of the doctor's office and hearing a plane fly overhead and looking up in wonder and pointing. I may not remember that moment, but I know when I am old and bald, that that moment will STILL rank up there as one of the greatest and happiest moments of my life. In a way, I feel like being given the opportunity to receive an implant is, in a way, reliving that first time I heard sound. Only now, it will be a great feeling just knowing I'll have stable hearing for many years. No longer will I have to fear the things I've feared in the last few months during which I've had little to no hearing...things like not ever being able to hear the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Three Doors Down in concert, not being able to call my parents and brother from college, not hearing my child say "Dad" for the first time, never hearing Tiger Rag or "and the Death Valley P.A. system welcoming the Fighting Tigers and so much more. Hopefully, my implant will be successful, and I will never have to fear things like these when I am old and bald. I truly hope I'll remember this feeling many years from now, so that I'll recognize just how blessed my life has been.