Finally wearing an implant

I have finally received my implant!

I haven't posted, mainly because I'm finding it extremely hard to describe what it sounds like.

When Abby first turned the implant on, it was a very surreal feeling. Of course, and this was expected, I could not understand voices or the sounds around me. Instead, I could hear what can best be described as the sound of bells. After a few minutes, I noticed that as people were talking, I could hear certain bells ringing. As soon as a person paused in mid-sentence or stopped talking altogether, the particular bells would stop ringing. My brain was already starting to process some information!

Next, I had to listen for beeps and raise my hand when I heard them. We also messed around with volume levels to see what volume sounded most comfortable for me. Eventually, after doing this, I had four programs loaded into my implant. Each program is louder than the program before it. Program 4 is louder than program 3, etc. I started on program 1 on Tuesday, and when it gets to the point that I feel like I am straining to hear people speak, then I will bump it up to program 2...probably very soon.

In about two weeks when I return to the hospital, I should be comfortable with program 4. Hopefully, too, at that point the voices will have begun to clear up at least a little! Already I feel like there is a bit of substance underneath the bell-like sounds...as if voices are a distant echo or are very far away. It's exciting to watch TV or read someone's lips and hear the noises following a pattern that corresponds to what is being said.

In order to force my brain to try and process these sounds and begin to understand them, there are a number of things I must do in the course of the next several weeks. First, I have to stop wearing my hearing aid in my right ear entirely. The only sound my brain is receiving is through my left ear. Secondly, I have to read out loud to myself. This is quite embarrassing, and is only done when I'm alone in a room. Nonetheless, my 'homework assignment' is to read the user manual for my processor twice in the next two weeks, out loud. I'll be sure to keep you posted on the exciting features that my processor has to offer! I am also supposed to spend some time watching movies with the volume up and with closed captioning on. If I really focus on the words being said and the corresponding bell sounds that go with each word, I might begin helping my brain process some of the information.

In any case, it can be frustrating, but the final thing I am required to do is to not complain. I can't complain to my parents, my dog, my friends, or even the doctors! Apparently, complaining won't make the situation any better. Plus, many of the things I might choose to complain about are things that will go away or end in time, I just need to be patient.

I'll post more later, including two pictures we took during the hookup at the hospital.

Cochlear-Implants Eve

Tomorrow is the big day!

After 19 years of extremely limited hearing and limited technology to improve on that limited hearing, I finally have a chance to change that tomorrow. While it's still to early to say that it will be a resounding success (I know, it's tempting, isn't it?), I feel very confident that it will at least improve upon my current hearing.

In the last few weeks, I've had time to reflect and realize there are two things I wanted to accomplish by undergoing this process to receive a cochlear implant.

First and foremost is stability. While the idea of a cochlear implant has always been at the back of my mind, it was the realization back in January that my hearing in my right ear could no longer be counted on for stability. With my hearing coming and going, seemingly at will, I can remember the incredible frustration and aloneness I felt when I climbed into my dorm loft at night, wondering if I would be able to hear the next morning or not. Although my hearing has returned and remained largely stable (meaning I can hear enough to wear my hearing aid again) since Spring Break, the fear of losing my hearing again has had a devestating effect on many aspects of my life...living in fear of my hearing was not something I wanted to do because it really keeps you from getting into a rhythm and getting on with your life. Each time I lost my hearing, I had to adjust to a new way of living, and each time I regained it, I had to try and pick up the pieces and return to a semi-normalcy. As I began to crave stability, the idea of a cochlear moved from the back burner to a major idea at the forefront of my thoughts. The success rate of cochlear implant users is impressive, and I feel that I would consider this implant process a success if it is able to allow my left ear to hear on an equal footing to the hearing I currently have in my right ear. While I feel that it is also reasonable to expect to hear even better than what I currently have (like, REALLY REALLY possible!), I will be thrilled, when it comes to stability, I know that goal will be accomplished when my hearing reaches what I currently have in my right ear.

The second goal is pretty obvious...perhaps even more obvious than stability. I know tomorrow, I will begin a path down a road that could potentially lead me to better hearing than I've ever had in my life. So many things in my life can change with this implant and better hearing. It thrills me to know that my ability to listen to music can be changed with this implant...from understanding the lyrics to a song, to identifying types of instruments being played, to distinguish between pitches and harmonies, even to be able to understand and recognize the strains of Tiger Rag floating through Death Valley...is something that excites me every day to know the day I might finally be able to do all of those things is getting close. To know that I'll have enough hearing to one day hear my wife, and then hear my kids is definitely thinking long-term, but when your problem is long-term, it is surprisingly easy to think that far ahead. It excites me to know that I might finally be able to hold my own in a group conversation...to hear everything everyone says (or at least enough to keep up with the conversation) and then be able to respond immediately to someone. It will be nice even to hear a person in the group tell a joke and be able to laugh immediately at the punch line, rather than to laugh belatedly, five seconds later and sounding like the world's slowest "joke-getter". It excites me to know that I might finally be on equal footing with the rest of my classmates at Clemson. I made it through Moultrie and Wando on much less, and while I know I can do the same at Clemson, I want the chance to do it with better hearing. I don't want you to think I'm getting too far ahead of myself, because I know my hearing won't be perfect, even if this implant works as well as it is expected. But to be honest, I've lived on so little, that any improvement above and beyond what I currently have will be that much closer to normalcy and perfection. I feel the need to believe that this will be as good as everyone says it will be...God has been good to me for 19 years, and I have every confidence and peace of mind that He will continue to be good to me.

People keep asking if I'm nervous about tomorrow. I guess I have to say that I am not. Maybe it's from growing up in the Carolinas, especially at the beach, but I've always considered myself a fairly laid-back guy (most of the time!) and that I have the ability to take things one day at a time. I'm also fairly realistic, and while I know tomorrow is necessary, I know it will also be akin to a test run. We probably won't even begin the mapping, which is necessary to begin developing my sense of hearing with the implant, until the next day. I am not expecting tomorrow to be painful or anything of that sort, so there really is nothing to worry about. The painful part is over, now it's time to focus on the rehabilitation of my auditory nerves, which can be more frustrating than painful...

In any case, it's good to be a kid, especially a college kid, at this critical stage in my life. For most of us, we are still brimming with hope and confidence. We are invincible, masters of our destiny. It feels like we have the rest of our lives to fix our mistakes and 'get it right'. Having waited as long as possible, I know I am receiving a superior cochlear implant. The stage has been set, I don't think God could have picked a better time for me to do this...my mindset, the technology, and even the people around me...everything is geared towards ensuring that this is as wonderful as it can be. Now, it's left for me and the rest of us to believe and have faith to see it the rest of the way.

Thanks for the prayers for me, and especially the prayers from those who were keeping up with my brother and his friends in Honduras. They made it back safely last night. Unfortunately, most of them had their luggage left behind, so we're waitin for that to show up sometime in the next few days!

Blessings to you all!

You mean there's really something metal inside my head?

So the day until my hook-up is drawing very close. I have less than a week - five days, to be exact - until I first put on my speech processor and step into a new world of sound. I have to say, I have gotten increasingly excited over the course of the last few days.

My stitches are healing nicely, and my hair is starting to grow over the scar. I'll post a picture on my web gallery soon. My ear is no longer numb (finally) and it no longer juts out at a near 90 degree angle like it did in the days following the operation. For some reason, the cartilage in my ear was just very stiff and inflexible until a few days ago. Guess that's just part of the operation. My dizziness, which eventually turned more to a lack of a sense of balance is returning, and only occasionally do I stumble or have to catch myself. It is simply amazing to me to stop and consider how wonderful medical technology is that a doctor can cut open someone's head, drill a groove into that person's skull (only millimeters away from his or her brain), insert a wire into an object no larger than a quarter, and then sew everything back up. Even more amazing is that same person is able to go home that day, much less be going out for a night on the town within two weeks of that same operation. God is truly large and in charge throughout this whole process!

Sometimes I reach up and feel the area around my incision, and it just amazes me to consider that there is now something between the skin of my head and my skull above my left ear. For some reason, it just doesn't feel right, but I think that's only because I have not yet begun to wear the processor and gain a benefit from the implant inside my head. I also fear the delicacy of the implant in my head and how it might change the way I do things. Right now, I am unable to do extremely strenuous activities simply because it makes my head feel a little funny. That should change in the next few weeks, but I also fear damaging my implant by any sort of fall or hard contact (for example, a baseball hitting me in the side of the head while I'm at bat) that under normal circumstances, would do nothing but leave a bruise. I think I mentioned in a previous blog entry that I won't be able to go through airport security scanners because it will affect the mapping on my C.I. I am sure that over the course of the next few months I will learn of other limitations similar to this one, and when that happens, I'll be sure to brandish my "Cochlear Implant I.D." card proudly! Fortunately, while these fears can become justified, I have learned a great deal about living my life in spite of limitations such as these, and so I don't think I'll have too much trouble. The newness and "mechanicalness" of my implant will eventually go away with time, much as it probably did with my hearing aid. I consider my hearing aid is currently as much a part of my body as any other body part I have...part of me is missing when that hearing aid is not in my ear and turned on. I have a feeling that, in time, my C.I. will be the same way...it's just going to take some time!

But I completely digressed from what I wanted to talk about! I received word from my implant specialist on my speech processor, and I have found some links that I'd like to share with you guys. Recently I posted a link to a picture of my implant, but I have since deleted that post simply because I kept having link issues. Here, finally, is the accurate picture of what my speech processor will look like.

Cochlear Nucleus 24 Freedom Processor (BTE) - This site contains information about the processor. I encourage all of you to click each of the Learn More buttons on the page. This processor is one of the newest (if not THE newest) on the market, and the advances in technology that have been made are astounding. There are a number of things about this processor that have really boosted my confidence and excitement in receiving this implant. It is sweatproof/splash resistant, which will be a big help for me living in the humid region of Charleston, SC. As an active teenager, this is great, because it should allow me to wear my C.I. while playing sports and I will not have to suffer from equipment breakdowns (as is all too common with my hearing aid). The Freedom processor also utilizes a unique technology known as SmartSound that basically does the work of identifying important sounds around me and then adjusting the sound levels accordingly so that I can focus on those important sounds. One of my greatest struggles as a hearing impaired individual wearing a hearing aid has been dealing with an ever-changing listening environment: to go from a quiet classroom in which one person is giving a lecture into a crowded Harcombe where everyone is shouting over one another over lunch can be quite a challenge as I struggle to hear only the important sounds. With a hearing aid, turning down the volume to reduce the crowd noise also has the undesired effect of quieting the voices of those I wish to hear. From what I'm understanding, my implant will give me a huge leg up in this department, and that thrills me. The same technology that allows me to do this also has the potential to allow me to hear instrumental music (and music in general) on a whole new level. With my hearing aid, the soft pitches of stringed instruments have never been very noticeable for me, and so I've never had much of an appreciation for that sort of music (despite my intense, sometimes burning desire, to want to appreciate that sort of music like those around me can). There are so many other exciting things about the processor, but I will leave it up to y'all to take a look around the website for yourself! Please keep in mind, that I am receiving the behind-the-ear processor (BTE) and not the box-type or bodyworn.

Before my operation, my excitement was a bit subued, as I knew it would be a few weeks before I could really begin to see any positive benefits from my operation. Fortunately, news of this processor and what it has the potential to do is really starting to catch up to me, and it has really gotten me excited about this whole thing!

In case you didn't see it, there is a very good picture of the device on the same set of webpages, but I'll link it here to make things easier for you.

Thanks to all of you who continue to support me and remind me that this is an exciting time in my life. This experience is having profound effect on a variety of different aspects of my life, many of them positively.

Finally, my brother is still in Honduras, and I hope he and the rest of the group he is with are having a wonderful experience.

Thanks for reading, and blessings to you all.

Web Page Updates

Some people have asked if I planned to put a guest book on the webpage. I figured people would use the comments button at the bottom of each post, and although some have, many may not be aware of this feature. So, if you want to leave a message or something, I have put a link to my guestbook on the sidebar over on the right side of the screen. If you feel so inclined, leave a message! :-)

In other news, Alan's 21st birthday is today...so I'm definitely wishing him a happy birthday today!

As for my family, we're all doing well, and John is currently packing for his mission trip to Honduras. They have to be at the airport early tomorrow morning for the flight. Please keep him, as well as the rest of the group from Mt. Pleasant Presbyterian Church, in your prayers this week!

Oops...lost track of the days!

It's been awhile since I've posted! I've recovered from my disappointment at Clemson losing in baseball...now my attention can be fully and completely directed to the MOST important sport at Clemson (not necessarily the only important sport, just the most important of the sports)...namely, Clemson FOOTBALL! Kickoff in 77 days...about 71 days too far away because as I learned last year at Clemson, the week prior to the first football game is such a build-up that is too exciting beyond words. I think I wore orange every day that week...but those who know me know that's not necessarily a hard thing for me to do!

But, this isn't a blog about Clemson athletics, or my undying loyalty to the university...

I'm getting better. I still have a bit of dizziness, but in the last three days or so it's been moderate enough that I've been able to get out of the house and do a few things. It started last Sunday with Meredith coming to visit...a group of us went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. It wore me out, but at least I knew I could get out of the house more. In the last week I've actually driven to Moe's (which isn't that far from my house) for a tasty Joe Burrito. On Tuesday, I was thrilled to have Bill and Betsy, our PSA leaders from Clemson, come down for a visit. We managed to go out to eat at Shem Creek Bar and Grill. The next day I managed to get a ride to Kickin Chicken for a college youth group thing that our church has recently started up. That went great, just a bit of dizziness and it was nice for others to see that I'm actually able to get out a little more. Today, I went fishing. Got rained on and didn't catch anything, but it was a lot of fun and a perfect way to get out without having to deal with the dizziness from walking around. In any event, hopefully the activity will make the dizziness go away. At least it's not bad enough that I can't do stuff, I can probably drive again, just better to be on the safe side!

My hook-up with the implant is on the 28th...definitely looking forward to that. The hair on my head is beginning to grow back, and I'm no longer conscious about it in public. I used to try and wear a hat (which hurt the stitches), but now I just go out with complete disregard for others noticing it, which is a good thing. I even forget about it, because I saw someone I knew in high school who did not know about the surgery and he was like, what the heck is that!? Took me a few seconds to figure out he was talking about the missing patch of hair and humongous scar on the back of my head.

So, in all, things are looking better for me...now, I can only hope, and pray, that I will be saying the same a few weeks after June 28th!

Omaha on the brain...

So I've never been the patient type to sit and watch an entire baseball game. But with the dizziness from the operation keeping me down a bit longer than expected, I've had plenty of time to watch the Tigers play Baylor in a best-of-three series. The series winner goes to Omaha, Nebraska to play in the College World Series. They're currently playing the third and deciding game, with Clemson a run ahead of Baylor...but we'll see if that lead holds.

Aside from watching baseball this weekend, I've done a few other things. For some reason, I've really been hit a little harder by dizziness than most...but I think that has to do with the nature of my hearing loss anyway. The balance canals are in the inner ear area, and so anytime something goes on around there, I run a pretty high risk of being affected balance-wise. It's getting to be extremely frustrating, because in terms of pain, however, I'm doing pretty well...there's only a bit of minor discomfort from the stitches, but nothing I can't handle. If not for the dizziness, I know I'd be up for actually getting out of the house and that sort of thing. There's not really anything I can do to alleviate the diziness except wait it out with bed rest and that sort of thing. I'm surprised at how little pain there has been. My left ear is still a little numb and sticks out at an odd angle from my head...it's enough that I still can't sleep on my left side. It's getting a little boring having to sleep on my right side or on my back (which is my least favorite position to sleep in).

Despite the frustration, I had a chance to forget most of it due to a nice surprise. Had a good friend from Clemon who lives in Atlanta show up at my door, completely unexpected. With two other close friends of mine from Clemson already living here in Mt. Plesaant this summer, it was just a blast to have us all back together (minus the fifth member of the group who might show up later this summer!) and just relive good memories from Clemson. We definitely made a few plans for next year, and it really reminded me of just how much I'm looking forward to getting this whole implant behind me so I can focus on my nextyear of school. But I really need to work on not worrying about it, because there are definitely fears that can creep into my mind when I least expect it! In any event, I felt well enough to make it out for lunch on Sunday...but that really wore me out and made me pretty dizzy, so I came back and spent the rest of the day on the couch.

Clemson is having a tough time here in the fourth inning, so I am going to have to put down the laptop and focus on the game! Have a great afternoon, hope to hear from you soon!

Post-Op: Day 2

Believe it or not, two whole days have passed since my operation on Wednesday. I definitely can't believe it. I know the time prior to today was definitely a blur, as I found myself drifting in and out of sleep. I don't think there was a time within the first 24 hours after the operation that I managed to stay awake longer than an hour and a half. I wish I could tell you what happened yesterday, but to be honest, my internal clock is so screwed up, that while I can remember certain things happening (like certain people visiting, etc.) I wouldn't be able to tell you who visited in what order or when things happened. In fact, for the majority of the day yesterday, I thought that my operation had been that morning. My grandmother came over to visit, and I remembered seeing her at the hospital Wednesday morning before and after the operation, but when I saw her yesterday, it seemed like I had only just seen her that morning...it took me a few minutes to clear my befuddled self and realize the operation had not, in fact, been that morning, but had been over 24 hours prior! That just shows you how much sleep I managed to get after the operation. If my previous two blog entries don't make any sense, that's probably because I was half-asleep when I wrote them or just severely hyped up on the several different kinds of medicine I've been taking...mostly pain-killers.

Speaking of pain, I'm surprised at how little pain there has been. Aside from some discomfort that seems most likely attributed to the stitches...I haven't had the major headaches that I expected. When I talk, laugh, or chew too much food at once, the skin behind my ear tightens some, causing the stitches to pull a bit, and that can usually hurt. My ear is very numb, which is to be expected, and if you look closely, you'll notice that my left ear is also sticking out a little farther than usual. All part of the post-op recovery, and it should be fixed pretty soon! Perhaps the most annoying thing about all of this has been the dizziness. While I expected there to be some dizziness, I forgot how annoying it can be, nor did I expect this much. In all, though, I am able to get up and move around a bit more like a normal person. I have to slow down sometimes and remind myself that if I'm not careful, I might end up bumping into a wall or something.

Today was spent on the couch in our living room. I managed to get my Xbox down here. This means that in the last 24 hours, I've managed to accomplish things that few others have been able to do...a) the Clemson Tigers are on the verge of winning their fourth straight National Championship...b) Manchester United is well on the way to winning the Champion's League, the FA Cup, and the Premier League and c) Master Chief is still at his best, slaying the Covenant and flood alike...

A few visitors stopped by, and it was wonderful to see them. I must admit, I don't feel like my normal self, as I'm not able to laugh and talk as much as I am normally accustomed to because it can be a bit discomforting. But, just having people to sit next to me and tell me what's going on the 'real world' has been wonderfully comforting. Looking forward to seeing some more of you soon!

Finally, I must remind you...it's going to be about another three weeks before I am actually able to make any further progress with this cochlear implant process. The next step from here is to recover from the operation...for the swelling to go down and the stitches to go away...before I return to the hospital to be fitted with the external device. Only then will I be able to actually listen with my implant. Unlike a hearing aid, which I could just plug in and go...I have to wait a bit for the next piece of the puzzle. With that being said, my hearing in my right ear (with the hearing aid) has been somewhat affected by the operation, but I think that's just because there' s a lot of pressure in my ears right now. I can still hear with my hearing aid, but for some reason, it's a little different than it was before I went into the O.R. So, anyway, I'm pretty much unable to use the phone, but I definitely hope that my implant will start making a difference shortly after I finally get the external device!

Hope y'all are having a great summer! Hope to see some of you soon!

The Tigers play baseball in Waco, TX tomorrow against Baylor in a best-of-three series...the winner gets a trip to Omaha for the College World Series! Bet you won't have much trouble figuring out what I'm going to be watching tomorrow at noon!

Pictures posted...check out the link below

I posted some pictures over on kodakgallery.com..if I get anymore, I'll be sure to add them to the album...

My Cochlear Implant Photo Gallery

I'm doing a lot better, definitely able to sit up and that sort of thing. As long as i don't move my head too much, I don't get too much dizziness, but occasionally it hits in waves. There's definitely some soreness behind the ear as well, but nothing I can't handle!

Looking forward to seeing many of you soon!

The Day After...

So it's been about 24 hours since I woke up from my anesthesia. It was such a relief to hear from the nurses, doctor, and family to hear that everything had gone well. I knew then that the hard part was over...and that in making it through the operation, I had already won half the battle.

My day started bright and early, around 7, as I had to be at the hospital by 8:30. For operation purposes, I wasn't allowed to eat anything before the operation, and for those of you who know me, that was definitely difficult! Surprisngly, I felt little to no fear, and was actually ready to go in there, have the operation, and begin the road to recovery. I had to spend about two hours at the hospital waiting before they wheeled me into the room. Both of my parents were there, as was my grandmother and three staff members from Mt. Pleasant Presbyterian. That was definitely a special moment as we got a chance to say one last prayer before the operation. They put an IV in and then Dr. Lambert stopped by to make sure everything was fine before the operation. I think around 11:00 they wheeled me into the OR...

Everything beyond being wheeled in to the OR is such a blur. I remember some of the nurses around my bed, getting the equipment ready and I remember trying to sit up a bit so I could see what was going on around me. I woke up around 3:00, having completed the operation successfully, and like i already said, it was an extreme relief and just a huge release of a lot of emotions...happiness, relief, and even a little shock that something that big was happening to me.

Recovery was pretty hard, but my parents and grandmother were still there, along with a few nurses helping m along. For some reason, my hearing in my right ear has been a little wierd, but I remember vague snippets of conversation going on around me, people asking how I felt pain-wise on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being severe pain. I told them I was about a 3 or a 4. I expected an extremely severe headache, but it wasn't that bad. There was some discomfort from the bandaid they had to put on my left ear to trap any possibly leaking fluid. Bsaically it looked like a bowl on my left ear (I'll post some pictures soon).

I did a lot better coming off of the anesthesia than I have in the past, but it was hard to get up and sit in a chair because there was a VERY large amount of vertigo...definitely not something I anticipated. I don't have much dizziness when I keep my head in the same position, but when I tried to sit up or move around, I kept getting hit with waves of dizziness. I still have that problem now, but after a few minutes it settles down again. Anyway, they got me in a chair and then eventually decided I could make it home. So, they loaded me into the wheelchair and got out of there. Again, I kept slipping off to sleep and the best way to ease the annoyance of the vertigo was keeping my eyes closed, so it really is hard to piece all the events of the day together.

After I got home around 5:30 or so, I went to bed and slept the majority of the evening. Woke up a few hours later, and had my first post-op meal (and not to mention first meal in 24 hours) consisting of strawberry ice cream and cold pizza (both were my choice!!). I wasn't up long, I think, because the medicine was making me pretty sleepy.

I had to go back to the hospital this morning around 8:00 for a follow-up. They removed the bandage to make sure everything was OK...and since it was, they decided it'd be ok for me to leave it off, which is definitely good news. Dr. Lambert and the rest could not stop telling us just how well I'd done in the surgery as well as my recovery. The stitches seem to be settling in nicely and should not be any problem. We also found out that when they tested the device in the OR, my auditory nerves were having a very positive, strong reaction . This definitely made me feel great, as stimulation from the auditory nerves is very important for a cochlear. We also had the operation videotaped, and I got to watch a little bit of it earlier at the house...pretty cool to see him inserting the device in my head!

After I got back from the hospital, I went straight back to bed. I just woke up about two hours ago (around 2:00) and have been watching TV and that sort o thing for the time being...I'm really feeling pretty good, just wish the vertigo was gone, because it is such a pain in the butt.

Can't wait to see some of y'all in the next few days...if you want to come by later this afternoon, give the house a call and mom can probably let you know if I am ready to see anyone! It's hard to talk for long periods of time, though, because when I open my mouth very wide, I can feel a little bit of discomfort where my left ear is...but that doesn't mean I won't be able to talk at all! I hav a feeling I'm going to be doing GREAT in the next 24 hours, so hopefully I'll be able to see ya!

Thanks again for the love and prayers...I was pretty nervous and worried in the last few months, but in the last week, just hearing the same thing over and over from all of you just made everything disappear.

I will probably post again soon once I am able to collect my thoughts together and actually manage to stay awake for more than two hours at a time...

The morning of...

So, after taking some time to fall asleep last night (lots of emotions...sort of like Christmas Eve) I finally managed to get to sleep.

I got up today feeling pretty good, just about all the negative thoughts are gone, so I'm pretty much looking forward to it.

There's only one problem...I'm hungry! I can't eat anything for breakfast or snack or anything for that matter until after the operation...

So bring on the operation! I want some food! And some hearing, too!


Oh yeah, as always, with Clemson football on the brain: we're down to 87 days, 12 hours, 4 minutes and 25 seconds!!!

Only a few more hours...

I found out earlier today that I need to be at the hospital tomorrow morning by 8:30...the operation will be sometime soon after.

Today has been a little surreal...all the days of waiting finally come down to one last day, and I feel pretty confident that I'm as ready as I'll ever be!

Thanks to everyone who has continually reminded me that they are thinking of and praying for me. For those of you whom I haven't seen in quite some time (such as the Clemson kids), I certainly miss all of you and the thought of returning to Clemson with a new sense of self and an even better ability to hear is thrilling, to say the least. For the rest of you, I hope that I will have a chance to see all of you in the coming weeks and months so I can at least have an opportunity to thank you in person for being so thoughtful and caring.

I saw a sunset tonight out at Pitt Street bridge. The kind that takes your breath away and just screams "God is real!" Pitt Street is a great place, because you can see everything that is Charleston..the harbor, the bridges (all three of them!), the Ben Sawyer, the islands, the ships, Shem Creek, and so much more...all in one place. With a sunset like tonight, that just drops out of the clouds as it descends over Charleston...it's hard to deny God's existence. Of course, I'm impartial to the brilliant orange and purple streaIt's definitely not a bad thing to remember on a night like this before an operation. But, I couldn't help thinking as well that simply having the support I have had these past few months and even the opportunity to have this sort of operation to regain my hearing is proof enough that God is with us always.

Good night, guys! It's gonna be an interesting trip these next few months and I hope you'll find it just as fun and exciting as I (hopefully) will!

Pre-Op Today

Today was visit #1 to the hospital for the week. It was really just an informational type thing, to make sure everyone was on the same page with the operation coming this Wednesday morning. They gave me a few things to sign, and discussed some possible side effects that might arise from the operation (which although can become a major problem in their own right, are very very slim possibilities). There's not really much you can say or do about these risks, because they are always there for any sort of operation, and it's not like the patient is really going to be able to do anything to minimize the risk of infection in the operating room or something like that...its really a matter of trust in the surgeon and his team. In this case, I'm fortunate to have known the ENT that will be operating on me for quite some time, and I find him to be just about one of the easiest, confident, and most assuring people to be around. Dr. Lambert is such a genuine person, and for him to tell me today that he is just absolutely excited about this operation and what it will do for me, that just makes me feel like everything is under control, and it really is!

Nothing else, really, except to wait until tomorrow to find out what time the operation is. That just requires a phone call. I'll be sure to post it on here so you can know!

How refreshing...but back to reality!

So, I just got back from an AWESOME time at the lake in Georgia with one of my best friends from Clemson. Last Wednesday, I made a spur-of-the moment decision (very rare, for me) and decided to go visit Meredith in Lake Oconee, Georgia...about four hours from here. Turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made in awhile...since it really gave me some time to get away from here for awhile. I've been a bit frustrated this summer, not being able to really get in touch with certain people and finding out when they get off work so we can hang out, that sort of thing...this month before the surgery hasn't really turned out like I expected it to...at least minus the boat trip from Florida. Part of it is also due to the fact that I've just got so much stuff on my mind and a with the operation looming large, it had admittedly pushed me into a rut...but thankfully the lake has changed all that. I had a lot of time to think on the car ride there and back, and while I was actually at the lake with Meredith, her mom, and her wonderful friends from UGA and GaTech, there were times that I just COMPLETELY forgot that there was even an operation in the first place. Spent a lot of time wakeboarding, jetskiing, playing air hockey, ping pong, watching TV, and all the things you'd do on lazy summer days at the lake. We even managed to have a boat break down in the middle of the lake, but thankfully got back to the dock ok with a little help from a passing boater. It was just a relief to put things aside for awhile and focus on having some fun, relaxing, and letting go of worries for awhile.

Speaking of worries, I told a wonderfully wise woman (i.e. my grandmother) that I wasn't so much worried about my operation as I was about adjusting to life after the operation. She just looked at me, and with the sincerity and love that can only come from a grandmother, she said (in some form or another), "And why do you even need to worry about that? There is nothing to worry about. Everything will be just fine." I started to say something, but was struck by the fact that it's a similar refrain to what I've been hearing from most of my friends and family...and to be honest, I'm actually starting to believe you guys! So thanks!

I'm still amazed and humbled by the number of people catching up to me and telling me that they're thinking of me and praying for me...it's awesome and just makes me excited to know that things have to go well because so many people are expecting it and praying for it. About the only thing I can think to do to even begin to continue to thank God for placing such wonderful people around me.

In other news, the Tigers won their regional at Doug Kingsmore today, which means they'll advance to the Supers in Baylor, Texas! Way to go, Tigers! Just as important (ok, maybe a little more important), Clemson football starts in 89 days, 20 hours, 2 minutes, and 5 seconds as of this posting! Yeah!!

Tomorrow is a pre-op at MUSC...not really sure what's gonna be happening, but I'll be sure to let you guys know how it goes. Wednesday is the big day!!

Take it easy, y'all!